[buying treadmill]

Me: Can I try it out first?

Salesperson: Sure

Me: (pulls out laundry basket and hangs wet clothes on it) I like it.

You Might Also Like


t-shirt is short for “television shirt”


Be nice to me or I will rain down Hell upon you when I start my blog.


Sorry I put black eyeliner on your baby, but honestly, look at how edgy it is now.


Every commercial for every product should have a scientist looking into a microscope. That gives me the confidence to buy


People who aren’t entombed in 8 feet of snow, what’s it like to live in a tropical paradise?


When walking behind someone at night, let them know you’re not dangerous by yelling “DO NOT FEAR ME” very loudly


Doctor: you’re not going to make it

Me: give me a number doc

Doctor: 8

Me: *pees into a cup 8 feet away*

Doctor: damn son


Doctor: You need to cut out orange juice in the morning.

Me: Because of all the sugar?

D: No, because of all the champagne.


ten years ago we had Jason Shoes, Carl Shirt and Daniel Problem. now we have no shoes no shirt no problem welcom to dennys what can i get u