@SuperRandomish: "We're still looking for a side project" Tornado: *raises hand* we could flip houses "We've been over this, it's not what you think it is"

@TheToddWilliams: Superman could have become a doctor, using his x-ray vision to detect life threatening tumors. But no, we really needed another journalist.

@Ms612: 911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?

@AbbieEvansXO: Me: get out, it’s my turn in the hedge now you've been hogging it way too long Hedgehog: no

@ibid78: "We do not negotiate with Pterodactyls."- President Barack Obamasaurus