@lloydrang: By age 30, most men have found that one special hairstyle they want to spend the rest of their life with.
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@jwalkonthemoon: It's stupid that "girl" and "world" are rhymed together so much in songs when "squirrel" is right there for the taking.
@TheBoydP: Avocados are like children. It’s important you spend a lot of quality time with them so they won’t go bad…
@SirEviscerate: "What the hell happened to you?" I got tarred by an angry mob. "What about the feathers?" I hugged some ducks to feel better after.