Oliver Twist: “Please sir, I want some more!?”
Manger: “Kid, you do realize this is a buffet?”
Can prisoners ask for The Olive Garden’s Endless Pasta for their last meal?
If so, I think I just found a loophole in our judicial system.
You Might Also Like
Cortana, where is the closest Taco Bell?
There’s a Weight Watchers meeting 1 mile away from you.
*Note to self: Never call Siri Cortana*
Remember to leave milk and cookies out for Captain America tonight.
I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she’s all, “Just diet and exercise, guys!”
I’m the perfect man if you don’t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
Stop screaming. Lots of people rub their eyes with toes.
ME What’s a penguins favourite relative? Aunt Arctica!
PENGUIN . .
ME [makes flies over head motion]
PENGUIN I don’t know what that means
[First day as a personal chef]
How do you take your poptart?
I put another shrimp on the barbie and now Ken is all pissed off.
We DID NOT walk 500 mile.
And we WOULD NOT walk 500 more.
~ The Disclaimers.