Canada’s weather be like

You Might Also Like


*Runs into bank with gun*
Alright! Everyone put your hands up!
*Tickles everyone*


* wishes on shooting star

” the wish you have wished for has already been taken, please try again”


I want to buy a Prius because I plan on driving off of a cliff & I don’t want to make too big of an explosion & kill squirrels or turtles


I take spiders outside in stead of killing them because it’s not their fault that I’m scared of them.

I do however, scream while doing so.


I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore


Boss: This is the third time you’ve been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?

Me: That it’s only Wednesday


American cheese is just regular cheese that’s not afraid to fight for freedom! Also, it’s fatter than the other cheeses. And more racist.


I never realized just how much of parenting is surreptitiously throwing away artwork.


We’re going to build a great wall to keep the inspirational tweets out.

And Facebook is going to pay for it.

Make Twitter Great Again.