@GreenishDuck: Can't believe a woman would grow a life inside of her for 9 months and then name it Ian.
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@ShawnHatosy: If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?
@Jesssicle: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like "Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"
@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"