@BruceForce: Can't believe Sting isn't the lead singer of the Scorpions
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@ScobeyWanKenobi: The best part about being thirty is that I'm finally old enough to play a high schooler in movies.
@AndrewChamings: [at funeral parlor with bereaved girlfriend] HER: You think these glass urns are a good idea? ME: Remains to be seen.
@sixfootcandy: My friend's kid just asked the server for ballsack vinegar and now he's my favorite person.