@Sorrowscopes: Capricorn: Next year will be the year you start living like a king. Isolated, paranoid, never sure if anyone’s affections are genuine.
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@Bdell1014: If you're going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, be a decent human being & turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights
@TheToddWilliams: Man: You've been very loyal but it's best we part ways Dog: I don't understand. What's the problem? Man: Your talking kinda freaks me out.
@DothTheDoth: Practice self-care like a lighthouse, let your problems crash all around you but avoid it by gazing mindlessly off into the distance.
@Book_Krazy: If the lever on your toaster breaks off and your bread starts burning, can you pry it out with a butter knife? The answer may shock you.