I dig, you dig, we dig, he digs, she digs, they dig.
It’s not a beautiful poem, but it’s very deep.
Careful…I’ve already had our entire fight in my head and it doesn’t end well for you.
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Holy crap! This coin looks old as hell!
*checks the date*
It’s 15 years younger than me.
If you tell me you’re having a bad day I will quietly grab you by the face and stare deeply into your eyes and whisper “all days are bad days”
We all scream
Because grandpa fell asleep at the wheel again.
“So, do you have any pets?”
Yeah, I have a pet crow. He’s white.
“You have an albino crow?”
He prefers the term cawcasian.
I’m supposed to be afraid of you because you are a twitter badass? What are you going to do, caps lock me?
So when you say R.I.P. To a dearly departed you are basically saying hey no zombie or walking dead stuff ??
Led Zeppelin’s “In My Time Of Dying” is my favorite song about a man with a touch of a cold.
HI I’M GOING TO HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLY LOUD YET PRIVATE PHONE CALL ON THIS BUS AND EXHIBIT A STUNNING LACK OF SELF-AWARENESS. THANK YOU.
All-day Christmas music at work, day 4:
Just Googled “Candy cane prison shank”