@: Carol is short for Casserole.
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@McGrumpenstein: FBI Agent: You're accused of attempting to hijack a Mentos truck & drive it into a Diet Coke bottling plant Me: ... FBI: ...I kind of want to see that Me: I KNOW, RIGHT?!
@junejuly12: him: *walking into the kitchen* don’t you feel guilty eating Nutella right out of the jar? me: *licking the spoon* only if I can’t finish the jar
@philco816: There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.