@donni
@anerdonfire2
We were just four regular guys who became legends thanks to karoke night and The Spice Girls
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@anerdonfire2
@D_Ciphered
My psychiatrist tells me it’s just transference, but I’m pretty sure I love anyone who will listen to my problems armed with a prescription pad.
@LurkAtHomeMom
Wow, you forget to buy beer a few days in a row and suddenly your husband is offering to do the grocery shopping, my plan is working, guys.
@2tickytacky
Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.
@KalvinMacleod
[school]
TEACHER: how was your summer?STUDENT: great, I grew a foot
TEACHER: thatโs cool, can I see it?
@AimeeHelene1
Me: What do you think about that?
Him: *typing*
*typing*
*typing*
*typing*
*typing*
*typing*5 minutes later
K
@fro_vo
[alphabet committee]
Boss: what are the vowels
Designer: a e i o and u
Boss: sometimes i think we need another one
Designer: why
Boss: ok
@PleaseBeGneiss
If God sent a flood to wipe out humans for being perverts what kinda nasty shit were the dinos into?
@AndyAsAdjective
*walking into Home Depot for 2nd time today*
EMPLOYEE: back again? forget something?
ME: um, you remember if I brought a kid in here with me last time?