@wolfpupy

cat: mew
me: actually its about games in journalism
*cat continues to ask for food*

You Might Also Like

@lovejulieacafe

I never realized how many “favorite” coffee mugs I had until other people tried to use them.

@lovemydogduck

I WAS LIKE
AND HE WAS LIKE
AND I WAS LIKE
AND SHE WAS LIKE
(The speech impediment of the 21st century)

@RobDenBleyker

Spider-Man reboots should start with the previous actor biting the new one as the origin story.

@BakwasRadio

Whenever a guy peeps into my phone, I open the front cam and take a selfie with him.

@JillianKarger

SNOW WHITE: so how’d you get your names?

SNEEZY: I sneeze a lot

SLEEPY: I sleep a lot

GRUMPY: my wife left me

@Jerrypleasure

[first day as a doctor]

me: u have breaked both your legs

patient: damn! so now?

me: we will be putting ur legs in a bowl of rice

@TrainedHedonist

Perverts have made it so you can’t even park your makeshift surveillance van conspicuously outside girls’ college diving team meets anymore.

@CrissySpeaks79

My 7 year old son told me “You’re the most beautiful mommy ever!”

I asked him what he did and where’s he hiding it.