@AlisonAgosti: Cauliflower is just ghost broccoli.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Kids: *doing something they shouldn't* Me: Stop or I'll be mad Kids: *keep doing it* Me: Stop or Mom will be mad Kids:*stop immediately*
@mallaidhanne: if any only children have ever wondered what it's like to have siblings, I just passed two little kids in their yard "sword" fighting, and the younger sibling had a branch, and the older sibling had an entire shovel. It's just that for your whole life
@djdarrellripley: Me: What happened to all the bourbon? Her: Oh, I put it in the chicken. Me: Then pour me a glass of chicken.