CAVEMAN: I got a Masters in History

CAVEMAN 2: Nice! How long did that take?

CAVEMAN: Nearly half an hour

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As an introvert, having a special place in hell reserved just for me sounds rather nice.


Why is everyone smiling at me today?

*checks fly*

*no pants*



Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.


O M G. i had to screenshot this before CNN deletes their tweet 😂😂😂


When life gives you lemons, worship the elder Gods. Take candy from a baby. Drink from a trough of blood. Who cares? None of this matters


What happens in Vegas stays on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Vine, and medical records.


wait did that Australian guy say “meteorite” or “mate are ya alright?”
*gets hit by a meteorite*
“hey mate are ya alri… no you’re dead*