@ThingsJackDigs: Chainsaws: because "The Texas Weed-whacker Massacre" just wasn't scary enough
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@louisvirtel: The best part of being a flight attendant has to be when you walk the aisle saying “trash” to everyone’s face.
@GrowlyGrego: *breaks into your house at night* *finds your bedroom* *blows on you til you wake up* HI I'M CHET CAN I INTEREST YOU IN A SECURITY SYSTEM?
@Brianhopecomedy: My 3 year old is singing the rare 19 hour version of "Let It Go", using only 3 words.
@NowAPisces: Today I opened the door to the supply room and four Japanese guys jumped out and yelled "supplies!"