My kids gave me a headache so I left them a scathing review on Glassdoor.
Changing my name to ‘free unlimited high-speed wifi’ so everyone will love me.
You Might Also Like
CABLE COMPANY: Someone will be there between 6:30 am and 9:45 pm.
ME: That’s pretty vague.
CC: Oh, sorry. It’ll be a cable TV installer.
[at the mall with my husband]
Me singing softly: She’s just a girl and she’s on fire..
Hubby: *shoots dirty look*
Me, ignoring: Ohhhh, she’s got her head in the clouds and-
Me: THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!! FIIIYAHHHH
I got a bracelet that posts where I ran, and how far to facebook, and I put it on a deer. So it just looks like I’m lost in the woods.
One time I had a boss who called me while he was in the bathroom, and then he accidentally peed on himself, so sometimes good things happen.
My husband and I both have colds but only his is really really bad.
you got mad on your own you can get happy on your own
-me giving a baby advice
Not at all embarassing when your newly potty trained toddler drops drawer and starts peeing on a tree… a fake tree… in the middle of a restaurant.