@dave_cactus: [Charlie Brown running up and just booting Hey Arnold in the head]
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@lovemydogduck: Remember, smoking doesn't kill people. People who are trying to quit smoking kill people.
@thedailymarker: Husband getting dressed: Me: Purple and green don't go together. Husband: It works for the Joker. Me: My point exactly.
@david8hughes: [at ultrasound] Dr [preparing gloves]: are you allergic to latex? Me: yeah that's why we're here
@imshitimsorry: lady at table behind me: sometimes babies get gassy. they can't burp so they get mad and cry me, turning around angrily: its not JUST babies