@gylertagan: [Chasing a man out of the bathroom with a pube] Sir you dropped this!
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@katie_bilotta: Her: I bet he’s thinking of other women Him: I wonder how long it takes a giraffe to throw up
@sofarrsogud: ‘Why do people even talk to babies? It’s not like they can understand anything’ I ask my dog.
@MikeCanRant: Dont trust any kids asking for bread this Halloween. Theyre more than likely just ducks dressed up as kids. I wont fall for that again.
@thesulk: Then a guy with a rope necklace and flat brimmed hat came in and everyone felt better about their own problems.