@audipenny: [chatting up a man in camouflage pants]
Where'd you get those tree legs, garden boy
@Adyaces: The cat seems really pissed off. He must have only had 22 hours sleep.
@ThaJawn: (Cannibalism anonymous)
Fat guy(sitting alone in a conference room): *burps
@PaulyPeligroso: I'll kiss a close talker just to teach them a lesson.
@MomesTheWord: My spirit animal is an upturned turtle.
@markydoodoo: Me, an intellectual: A spam and banana sandwich would be called a spamananawich.