All You Need Is Love. And an IQ low enough to believe that.
“Child rearing” sounds like something that’ll get you life in prison.
You Might Also Like
Had sex in a kiddie pool full of jam once.
*pops jean jacket collar*
I got marmalaid.
Tried to get my 7 year old cousin to play Hungry Hungry Hippos but the fences at the zoo are really high.
I’m sick of these libs telling me I can’t say “Happy Honda Days” because I might offend someone who celebrates Toyotathon. So, I guess I’m supposed to wish everyone a “Happy Winter Car Sale”?
[talking to my son]
Please call me Steve, father was my father’s name
“Ah, Mr Bond, I-”
*closes laptop lid and pulls up trousers*
“-wasn’t expecting you.”
WIFE: what the hell happened here?
ME: i broke an egg
ME [shaking egg]: tell me what u know, u piece of shit
CNN: The boy who cried Breaking News.
How come an extremely angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour,
but it takes her a week to pack for vacation?
-Me to the Creators of all Dating Apps