@donni: Choose a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life, because you'll never get that job.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rickygervais: I'm hoping the nuclear strike button & the trap-door for hecklers button on Trump's desk are completely different colours.
@_NoOneYouKnow__: Neighbor: hey just so you know I invited Dan to the dinner party! Me: cannibal Dan or Dan who can’t spell? *phone chimes* [Text from Dan] I can’t wait to meat your friend tonight! Neighbor: yeah I’m not sure
@brianbooone: You know when two cops park their cars facing opposite directions so they can talk to each other through their driver-side windows? That’s called a 6-9-1-1.
@Paxochka: I'm 5'5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.