that colleague who touches your screen
You Might Also Like
My 3yo just ate a bunch of almonds and complained his chin hurt from the salt.
I asked him if he wanted a wet napkin to help.
He said he needed a dinner roll to help it.
Now he’s holding a King’s Hawaiian Roll on his chin.
I’m gonna nail horseshoes on my nikes and gallop behind joggers
I know it’s fiction but the logic in The Walking Dead is so skewed it is impossible to suspend disbelief.
An Asian guy named Glenn?
Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership?
Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn’t agree with
No sweetie, you can’t have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that’s not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night.
I feel as though we’ve come too far as a society to go camping on purpose.
Glad I spent 40 minutes getting my 1 year old dressed so she could go outside for 3 seconds.
My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he’s been reading the news and knows he won’t get punished for it.
‘Space Jam’ never gets old – that’s because in the sterile environment of space fruit preserves don’t spoil. Hi, I’m Neil deGrasse Tyson.