@InternetHippo: Choosing your identity when you become a politician
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@seriouslyamy: 3 days ago I put a sign on my door that said "I'll be back in 20 minutes". Nobody has bothered me since and I'm never taking it down.
@rockymomax: [prison] CELLMATE: what are you in for? ME: (actually in jail for jumping a fence to hug a panda) murder
@GrantTanaka: that feeling when you hold her face in your hands & gaze into her eyes like she's the universe, then u think "wait a minute, who's driving"