*Cinderella drops her glass slipper*
Prince: I have a girlfriend.
You Might Also Like
wife: our house is on fire! who you gonna call?!
ghostbusters (standing in ashes): u really should’ve called the fire department
“You know the speed limit here, son?”
“You know how fast you were going?”
“So where you off to in such a hurry?”
idaho is my favorite state that sounds like a woman who’s comfortable with her own sexual indiscretions
My husband reminding me that Heidi Klum also has 4 kids is going to be the official cause of death on his death certificate.
*on the karaoke mic*
“I normally don’t sing outside the shower so I hope you guys don’t mind if I do this naked”
Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, ‘next we go into our downward dog,’ it is frowned upon to make the ‘bowchickabowow’ sound.
I think the inventor of the internet likely didn’t intend for it to be used to post videos of simians reacting to humans doing magic tricks.
“Sir… your family is dead. APRIL FOOLS!!!! Kidding!!! Your son made it! He’s in a coma! OMG You shoulda seen your face!”
– Worst ER doc
Sometimes it’s nice to feel another body pressed up against your own, even if rigor mortis has already set it.