@garrettn: Claiming that someone else's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.
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@DanMentos: LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you're on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
@MelKassel: Me: *staring into mirror* Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary *skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink* SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50
@jdforshort: If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine
@i_theindian: Lovers decided to commit suicide. The boy jumped first. The girl did not. From that day, started the concept of...Ladies First. @Laugh_Riot