Definition of Rap Songs: Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
I’m farmer Joe, this is my farm
DO U HAVE COWS?
Yes, it’s a dairy farm
DO U HAVE WHALES?
Kid, why wouldn’t we have whales?
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I was 17 having dinner w new gf’s parents. Pooped. 1st flush didn’t take. I got nervous they’d hear a 2nd so I threw the turd out the window
Alternate universe where all appearances of the word “lil” in rappers names have to be replaced with the word “teensy weensy”
what did I do this weekend? saw 50 Shades Darker & coughed through the whole movie on purpose
A recent study by UN has found dexter to be the no 1 cause for ocean pollution
11yo: My Girl Scout vest is lost. I’ve looked EVERYWHERE.
Me: *ransacks house looking*
*digs in garbage*
*combs through school’s 5-ton lost-and-found pile*
*forms 15 person search party*
*asks NASA if they’ve seen it*
11yo: I found it. I hung it up in my closet.
Damn my forehead is big!
My Mom used to call it a fivehead.
I can see clearly now the rain has gone; I can *backs into mailbox* see all obstacles in my way *runs over squirrel* omg I love this song