Clue is a wonderful game that teaches children about murder.

You Might Also Like


* Falls down rock face
* Breaks legs. Bleeds profusely
* Slowly reaches for pocket
* Pulls out phone
* Checks twitter notifications


Ben Carson is my favorite candidate whose name sounds like a Transformer explaining to his kid why he hasn’t seen him much lately


it’s so stupid how stores are already selling halloween candy, like anybody is actually going door-to-door this year,

..today i bought a 5lb bag.


Wait…you said JAZZ hands? Oh god. I totally misheard you. Please get me a towel.


Does anyone know how to get red wine out of a white cat, and don’t say tears, because I already tried that.


Pimp My Ride just showed up and turned my Corolla into a barbecue.


Some people say I hang out with the wrong crowd. They’re always like “Hey man we’re over here you don’t even know those people.”


Do people who use handkerchiefs know they don’t have to hang on to the things that come out of their nose?