@BoyCalledAnn: Coke is just cherry coke after it's lost its virginity.
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@KeetPotato: hey look! *picks up a tiny ghost costume off pavement* how cool is thi ew why is it wet? "dude, that's a condom"
@momTruthBomb: I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target today and, long story short, I'm covering for Debbie this weekend.
@RocketRankoon: I'm not afraid to run into an ex here. Her tweets would be all lame like 'my dog is cute' and mine would be all cool like 'I love you Susan'