I’m bathing in hot water with a bunch of vegetables, herbs and spices! The mayor has a big wooden spoon and he’s swirling the water around for me.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
You Might Also Like
ME: Don’t let her know you’re a potato
HER: It’s really hot in here
ME: [starts baking] oh no
Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, dogs, and would-be divorcees finding out how much divorcing costs.
her: can you pick up the house
me: *putting on back brace* I can try
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Me: I’m sociable and can pretend to get along with most people….
Interviewer: er, ….. yes ok, right, moving on! Weaknesses?
Me: erm….*thinking furiously*…. bladder??
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I’m not expecting them to be practical
“Boo!” — cow with a cold
Without background music, it’s really hard to know which emotions I’m supposed to be faking.
*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset*
*Gets down on one knee*
Help my knee is made of magnets