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@Holy_Mowgli: colonel mustard's first name is dijonathan
@HomeProbably: Twitter: Just chilling with my cat.
Cat Twitter: My human won’t leave me alone.
@Brampersandon_: [using my one prison phone call in 2007] yes, one vote for Sanjaya please
@roboticcrab: “Easy as pie” does not sound easy to me. Make it “Easy as Hot Pockets” or “Easy as eating six pickles straight out of the jar without even closing the fridge”
@Danny_McH2O: I like that the doctor always asks if I'm a smoker. When I say yes, he tells me I should quit.
No shit? Thanks. Here's all my money.
@yonewt: This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.