@MaryKoCo

Comment on every picture of someone’s dog, “What is this”

Comment on every picture of someone’s dog, “What is this”

- @MaryKoCo

You Might Also Like

@CalmTomb

Good vacation so far, aside from the faceless man telling us “You will never leave this island.”

@BriarSlyMadness

If you’re ever attacked by a mob of angry Vegans…

…don’t worry about it. They’re too weak to hurt you.

@WalkingAnxiety

Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you’re nuts.

@thinkingparsnip

*sitting bolt upright out of a dead sleep*
PANTS MADE OUT OF EGGPLANTS CALLED AUBERJEANS

@UnimpressedWU

In lieu of exercise, accidentally send your text to the wrong person to get your heart rate up

@QwertyJones3

HER: I’m a member of my local Rotary Club.

ME: [trying to impress her] Yeah I hate touch tone phones.

@QwertyJones3

My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of “cumin”.

@Audenary

GOD: Go forth, my tiny friends!

ANTS: Hooray!

ANGEL: Ok next creation … The anteater.

ANTS: The what now?