Do you single people want to know what marriage is like? Imagine having an argument in 1993 and talking about it once a week until you die
[commercial for soap]
NARRATOR: soap. it fights dirty.
You Might Also Like
I have to go watch my kid in a math competition and I just don’t understand why Jesus has forsaken me like this.
There are 3 types of guys in this world
? 1) Handsome
? 2) Lucky
? 3) Me
4: Let’s go to back Target, we can get the Pokémon stuff
Me: But you don’t have any more money
4: That’s okay, we can use your money
Me: I’m pregnant
Him: oh no
Me: with emotion
Him: oh, whew
Me: because there’s a baby inside me
I just swallowed a Norton Anti-virus CD. I’m good now.
I’m at the age where I am about to make a dentist a lot of money.
*stares at phone*
why cant i sleep
*puts phone face-up on bed, the screen brigtness bathes my room in a light mor powerfubl than the sun*
Walk up to the finest girl in the club and whisper, “excuse me, can I get at that outlet behind you hon?”