@DancesWithTamis: Confuse your least favorite person at work by moving in slow motion when they're the only person watching you
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@Tmoney68: My GF called me "behind the times" today. I got so upset, I paused the VCR, paged my friends & asked them to fax me their best advice.
@averagegrades: whenever a man says he's well endowed I always hope he means with a grant from the government for his new art project