Would you also like our cheesy bread, comes with sauce?
Are you trying to sell me a side of pizza with my pizza? 2 please.
Construction worker: *whistles* Damn girl, you always move like that?
Me: [crab walking] yes, I’m a Cancer
You Might Also Like
Considering how much I don’t wash my hair, I’m basically an environmentalist.
Sir, it says here you’re part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod
The rest of the world should fear our military.
We have the most cutting edge technology 1954 had to offer.
I got drunk and woke up in the gutter.
This is my sewer side note.
“how about an animal that looks like a cross between a horse and a barcode” – creator of zebras
Dammit, stop summoning me to fight global warming! I’ll believe it when the remaining 3% of scientists believe it! -Republican Capt. Planet
Did the poop challenge on my daughter , 😭🥺🥰 (used peanut butter) but this was her reaction 😂
Gosh I love her sooo much ‼️
wonder if ppl who watch the show Finding Bigfoot are aware that every episode they watch will end with them not finding Bigfoot…
murderer: [rips open my shower curtain] why are you wearing shoes