INVESTOR: So, it’s a bra, with a built in queso holder?
INVESTOR: And you call it the-
ME: The Bracho, yes
cop: COME OUT WITH UR HANDS UP
cop: THIS IS UR LAST CHANCE
me: YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE
cop: WE HAVE PUPPIES OUT HERE
me: FOR REAL THIS TIME?
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I’m more than tenacious.
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Counting to ten after someone pisses you off gives you time to think of somewhere to bury them.
I’m a Civil War reenactor but I only reenact the time General Ambrose Burnside took a three hour nap.
My crush is getting married so I made a three teared cake
“I like your skinny jeans, are they new?”
No, I bought them 15lbs ago
I bet it’s tough being a police sketch artist in China.