We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@2tickytacky: Cop: "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"
Shark: *eats cop*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: You think if I tell my dad "30 is the new 20" he'll start paying all my bills for me again like he did 10 years ago?
@simoncholland: A main part of marriage is heavy sighing to let your spouse know you are upset then saying, “nothing” when they ask what’s wrong.
@shwebby3: Did some Doomsday Prepping today
Have enough food for 71 minutes
@TweetPotato314: imagine when the stars that make orion’s belt die and his pants fall down
@IGotsSmarts: Still wondering if Rick Astley gives up anything for Lent.