Dentist: How often do you floss?
Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*
Cop: *kicks door open* it’s time to take out the trash
Cop’s wife: stop kicking the door
You Might Also Like
Husband: Did your friend Kathy have her baby boy?
Me: She had a girl.
Me: Yeah, she’s 5 now.
I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. My wife is in for a treat tonight.
“What are your strengths?”
Me: I fall in love easily.
“Erm, okay… what are your weaknesses?”
Me: Those blue eyes of yours.
Doctor: “Why is my waiting room empty?”
Judge: “I hauled everyone off to court”
Doctor: “You’re trying my patients”
billie eilish, carly rae jepsen, and miley cyrus should form a pop group called billie rae cyrus
M: I just can’t find the words.
H: She’s kidding, give her a minute.
choose your gary
*looks out the window, sees bubonic plague is back*