“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain streaking”
[pilot darts out of the cockpit completely naked]
Corned beef and potatoes running aimlessly about on the playground.
You Might Also Like
As a young girl she played the game Operation and dreamed about the day she could illegally harvest vital organs in real life.
Practice self-care like Medusa, take care of your hair & turn everyone who has wronged you into stone.
*posts selfie with full makeup and 3 filters*
I’m so sick, I feel like dog crap & I look sooooo gross
“You crazy kids sure get one hell of a sweet tooth during Halloween” I say pouring maple syrup into their bags…
Samuel L Jackson turning in swear jar: I need a bank check to buy Rhode Island
Sure a sense of humor is important but marry you somebody who knows plumbing bc that’s forever.
i need a reasonably paying job. something like $6,000 an hour, nothing too wild.
Tom & Jerry had the realest beef of all time….. nvr said a word…. it was jus on sight ..
Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond