@Donna_McCoy: Cosmetic surgery is a great way to spend your life savings and end up looking like a surprised owl.
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@Marlebean: They say if a cranky baby won't sleep, take a nice long car ride... *hands cab driver $200, goes back to bed*
@RobDenBleyker: Is there an app that makes the flatline noise? Bet I could freak out some nurses.
@WarrenHolstein: Don't cut yourselves 'cause Justin smokes pot, Beliebers. Cut yourselves 'cause you listen to Justin Bieber. (And aim for a major artery.)