Is there such a thing as spontaneous feline combustion? Anyway, baking soda and vinegar are terrible for cats.
Coworker: See you next year. Hahaha
Me: Not if you die tonight. Hahaha
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Hell, it’s the 70s all over again. Cheap gas, shaggy hair and no where to go
How disturbingly inappropriate would it be if “Thomas the Tank Engine” was set in early-1940s Germany? #ThomasDieKleineLokomotive
Any question can be a rhetorical question if you walk away fast enough.
April is alcohol awareness month…..I think we’re all aware.
The mail slot on your door is so you can tell the mailman you love him
*inventing the mirror*
“People don’t have enough to worry about.”
Priest: You May now kiss the bride.
Goth couple: *scowls*
Priest: *Sigh* You may Now bestow one final graven kiss upon this queen of winter throned.
Why do grocery stores double-bag everything? Like why don’t you just make bags that are twice as strong?
I’m not a mechanic so I don’t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.