@9GAGTweets: *cries in student*
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@my_minivan_life: 8yo: ... 6yo: ... 8yo: ... 6yo: ... 8yo: ... 6yo: ... 8yo: ....Punches 6yo in the face. Me: Woah,what the hell was that for? 8yo: He knows.
@TEXASVETERAN: How do you say "I'm sorry I got you pregnant, but my plane leaves in an hour. I might visit the baby one day." in Korean?
@tarashoe: this month's full moon is in virgo. you know what that means: you shouldn't be friends with me because i will tell you shit like this
@_SingleBabyMama: I answer with an automatic "Yes" each time my mom says "Oh, have I told you...?" I could miss out on something good but chances are slim.