Meanwhile on Facebook, Susan is doing a quiz, to find out what kind of sea monster, her Ex is.
This looks like lead poisoning to me!
*Tugs nervously at his collar*
You Might Also Like
UK: we call them films, after the traditional recording process using photographic film
USA: WE CALL THEM MOVIES BECAUSE THEM PHOTOS MOVE
After a stressful day of holiday shopping, I like to soak away my cares in a relaxing bath.
Mall Security: Ma’am, get out of the fountain.
When you say ” friends with benefits” I assume you own a medical Marijuana dispensary and or a liquor store
My goal was to have $10,000 saved by the end of 2018. Im already at $6.23
I just got really sad thinking about Voldemort trying to enjoy a nice day at the beach but his sunglasses won’t stay on his face
“This syrup tastes funny…”
-Me, drunk, putting soy sauce on my pancakes
SOLDIER: Yankee Oscar Uniform Romeo Foxtrot Lima Yankee India Sierra Delta Oscar Whiskey November
CAPTAIN: Lima Oscar Lima!
I get home late, dead tired, & see my name in big, bloody letters on the bedroom wall – & I’m like, nope, I will deal w/ THIS in the morning
*Moses opens tablet*
You have TEN unread commandments.