You can’t make blanket statements & expect people to take you seriously, but since I hate clowns I’m pretty sure everyone else does too.
crossbreed every type of dog until all you’re left with is an everything beagle
You Might Also Like
You make me want to be a better home and garden.
DOG 911: What’s ur emer-
DOG: IT’S CHRISTMAS EVE
DOG 911: so?
DOG: MY HUMAN SAID SOMEONE’S COMING IN THE HOUSE THROUGH THE CHIMNEY TONIGHT
DOG 911: OMG
I don’t hate my job. I just really enjoy curling up in a ball and sobbing under a blanket in the backseat of my car during lunch.
I’m wearing a tuxedo to work today in protest of casual Friday.
Me: So Pamela, do you enjoy being a psychologist?
Her: *smiles* Yes, but you dont pronounce the P.
Me: Oh I’m sorry Amela.
Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting
Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment.
🎶Up and down the boulevard🎶
🎶Their shadows searching in the night!🎶
ME: Now, wait just a goshdarn minute. How in the heck can you have shadows at night??
ME: Ah. Carry on.