@Twisted_Mettle: Croutons and cherry tomatoes are the natural enemies of the plastic fork.
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@sixthformpoet: 1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments
@notalogin: Merlin: What now? Lawyer: I'd advise you to turn yourself in to the police Officer Merlin: Ok, and now?
@mrjohndarby: Parole officer: Come in and take a seat [me, finishing a jail term for stealing chairs] *starts sweating*
@ClassOf20l6: why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here