@mejustbeth: Current status: I just turned on the garbage disposal so the cats wouldn't hear me getting the cheese out of the fridge.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Pork_Chop_Hair: HR: In the kitchen, you wrote “Say hello to my lil dough friends” Me: They were donut holes HR: You also wrote “I know it was you, free dough- you broke my heart” Me: Yes. Am I in trouble? HR: Of course not. We’d like to promote you from Janitor to VP Marketing
@TweetPotato314: me: excuse me, my chicken is cold waiter: I’m terribly sorry sir, but pets aren’t allowed in here
@rockymomax: ME: [wearing donuts as glasses] did u just call me immature WIFE: yes ME: [removes donuts & tries to clean with shirt] your moms immature
@thatUPSdude: Don't you hate when somebody gives you the finger in traffic and then you have to follow them home and loosen the lug nuts on their wheels.