@iAmJuddy

Currently accomplishing an astonishing amount of nothing, at a blistering rate.

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@shopkins776

We’ll just have to agree to disagree is my favorite way of saying “you’re an idiot but I’m tired”

@bluestmoon_

Here, hold my drink. Ruining this is going to take both hands.

@Love_bug1016

*seduces you by wearing a sundress

*ruins it by running in flip flops

@tonyposnanski

Guys I went to the department store today to by a toaster over and they made me wear pants and I wouldn’t because this isn’t the America I signed up for and I know the constitution so I left with no pants and no toaster oven thanks a lot.

@TribalSpaceCat

Very normal stages of anger:
1) kinda upset
2) crying
3) imagining yourself singing a revengeful song to them at a talent show

@ericarhodes

If I was a fashion designer Id call myself “who” so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say “Who?” “Yes who?” “Yes.”