*curtsying before the royal duck court*


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When it comes to politics I’m an agnostic. I don’t believe there’s an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist.


I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes – “open bar”


Shout out to the pack of wolves that raised me to be the lady I am today.


I don’t trust rabbits…

Anything that’s happy with just lettuce is suspicious


your body is a ghost factory that takes one lifetime to produce a ghost


Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do.

Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.



“Kanye bless you.”
“Kanye damn it!”
“One nation, under Kanye.”
“Thank Kanye Almighty!”
“The Kanyefather, Part II”


I could never be on The Bachelor. I don’t need millions watching me get dumped & cry on tv. It’s bad enough my cat sees that shit everyday.