@prufrockluvsong

*curtsying before the royal duck court*

M’allard!

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@carlyken

When it comes to politics I’m an agnostic. I don’t believe there’s an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist.

@killerdollrik

I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes – “open bar”

@Lisabug74

Shout out to the pack of wolves that raised me to be the lady I am today.

@ThaJawn

I don’t trust rabbits…

Anything that’s happy with just lettuce is suspicious

@ka_waltz

your body is a ghost factory that takes one lifetime to produce a ghost

@Ivsy01

Me:(Standing on a Bosu Ball at bootcamp) No one tells us what to do.

Trainer(rolling eyes) Rene, get down. You asked me to teach this.

@TheTweetOfGod

NEW EXPRESSIONS

“Kanye bless you.”
“Kanye damn it!”
“One nation, under Kanye.”
“Thank Kanye Almighty!”
“The Kanyefather, Part II”

@MoneypennyNaked

I could never be on The Bachelor. I don’t need millions watching me get dumped & cry on tv. It’s bad enough my cat sees that shit everyday.