Nutritionist: Let’s identify those triggers that stop you from eating well, they could be subtle
M: I guess the main one is being awake
customers really come up to me and ask “when this whole covid thing gonna be over?” Lmfao bro idk let me go ask my manager
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I hate when I see a friend and wave all excited but they just keep being a jar of peanut butter.
FACEBOOK: join your friends at these events that might interest you nearby
ME: not today satan
Me: sometimes when a door closes there’s a window that opens
Car Repair Man: yeah I’ll definitely take a look at that
I like staying in because soon as I step outside I spend $100
I’ve never been in love but I imagine its similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
only 11 steps left
SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: What would you like-
ME: I’D LIKE TO CREATE A SHOW ABOUT DOGS COOKING PIZZAS
SE: -on your sub?
People with FB statuses like, “I’m so angry right now”, then when someone says, “What’s up?” they reply, “I’ll text you.” WHAT ABOUT US?
I’m under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that’s how weather works.