It’s called crossfit because you’re really mad that you’re doing it
Dad: *getting grill ready* I need some lighter fluid
Me: *ties a balloon to his drink*
Dad: *sniff* I’m so proud of you
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I’m totally fine with everyone leaving the country if Trump wins or if Hillary wins. I need more space
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Fears: dying alone, getting horribly maimed or disfigured, people who stick their tongue out in photos
Sorry folks but there’s only 2 genders: human and dancer
Be the reason why your priest clutches their rosary when they look at you.
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