@mcs212

Daddy Longlegs: Proof you need to settle your inner demons before naming animals.

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@elle91

I love The Sims because I can act out my craziest fantasies like advancing in my career and building relationships.

@MummaCrazy

I’m just gonna go ahead and change my boys names to “Stop making that stupid noise” and “Where are your shoes?”.

@Dr_powpow

Keep your friends close and your enemies in the trunk of your car.

@Kids_kubed

Husband: Wow! The house looks amazing. We should invite ppl over more often so you keep it this clean.

I’m going to need help writing his obituary.

@007Pepe_Rex

My cat is bilingual. He ignores me in both English and Spanish.

@DaddyJew

My superpower is my ability to spell ‘banana’ without any help from Gwen Stefani

@AIanHangover

True love doesn’t care about the look or size of your wallet, it’s all about what is inside ….. the wallet.